How to Write a Thank You Note

Offering Thanks for Holiday, Birthday, Wedding, & Shower Gifts

Nov 9, 2007

A Thank You Note, Dominik Gwarek, Stock Xchange

Feeling stressed out about the looming task of sending thank you notes? Here's a formula to help you write cards that are personalized and special.

Everybody loves receiving gifts, except for that one pesky obligation that comes with them-- writing thank you notes. While many traditional etiquette practices have become obsolete, people really do still expect thank you cards after they give you a gift for Christmas, your birthday, your wedding, or any other occasion.

So how do you write a great thank you card? The trick is to make it sound like the thank you note is more than just a social obligation. When someone gives a gift, they want to know that their efforts are appreciated. Because of this, you want to make sure your card is personalized and doesn't just sound like you're using the "fill in the blanks" approach. (Dear _____, Thank you so very much for the ______, and so forth).

Personalized thank you notes? Doesn't that take time? Well, yes, but once you get the hang of it, they don't take as much time as you might think. Although you don't want to follow the "fill in the blanks" approach, you can still follow a formula that speeds up the process. Here's an easy formula you can follow when writing thank you notes.

Salutation

This is simple, but make sure you get it right. Spell everybody's name correctly. If the gift is from a couple, make sure you include both of their names, and if they have children, including the names of the children is a nice touch.

Thanks for a specific gift

Make sure you describe the gift in detail to show that the gift matters. Try to attach positive adjectives to the description of the gift. Words like "lovely" or "nice" are fine, but try to be creative and think of something more descriptive. And needless to say, make sure you thank the gift-giver for the correct present. If you're getting married or having a baby shower and will be receiving lots of gifts, it's important to keep an accurate check sheet of who gave you what.

Here are some examples of how to thank people for their gifts. (If they sent you money, simply thank them for the "generous gift," as there's not much else you can say about it.)

"Thank you so much for helping us welcome Catherine into the world with that soft and cuddly pink teddy bear!"
"Thank you for the cozy gray and white cardigan sweater that you sent me for my birthday!"
"After our wedding, we were delighted to unwrap your stunning crystal candlesticks."

Describe how you will use the gift

Again, people want to know that their gift is appreciated, and one way you can do this is to describe how the gift will be used. Let them know their gift was thoughtful and reflects your needs and tastes. In some cases, you might have to exaggerate a little (lying is optional). Here are some examples:

"As you know, I'm going to be attending college up north, so my new wool scarf will get plenty of use!"
"We love entertaining, and it's wonderful to have such a pretty salt-and-pepper set to place on our table."
"We've already gotten lots of use out of the blanket because baby Tyler loves to nap on it!."
For cash gifts: "We're going to use your generous gift to help buy a washer and dryer for our new home."

Thank them for sharing your event

It's important to thank your gift-givers for their participation in your celebration. After all, you're not just grateful for their stuff! This kind of thanks should be heartfelt and as genuine as possible. Here are some examples:

"We're so grateful that you made the long trip in the cold down from Edmonton to share our wedding with us."
"Thank you so much for sharing Christmas at your home with us this year."
"It meant so much to us that you helped us share the birth of our baby with your generous gift."

Personal note to the recipient

You don't have to write a long letter, but try to include a sentence about the gift-givers. You might tell them that you are looking forward to seeing them at a future event, or mention their kids. Here are some examples:

"I can't believe how big and grown up Jason and Jessica have become!"
"Our best to you for a happy holiday season, and we'll be praying that Bob makes a swift recovery from his surgery."
"We're looking forward to seeing you at Sarah's Bat Mitzvah next month!"

An update on yourself

This is optional, and you should keep this short. However, people do want to hear what you're up to, especially if you have some big news. Some examples:

"Even though we've only been married a month, we already have a new addition to our family-- a 2-year-old Golden Retriever named Lucy!"
"We had a special Christmas surprise: Angela announced that she's pregnant!"
"Now that my Bar Mitzvah is over, I'm going to be busy working at a summer camp for children with disabilities."

Fancy paper and calligraphy?

If you have the time and inclination, beautiful paper and penmanship is a nice touch. However, the most important thing to consider is the message inside. Just make sure your penmanship is legible.

Good luck with your thank you cards! Remember to make the cards as personalized as you can, and your gift-givers will appreciate the effort.

The copyright of the article How to Write a Thank You Note in Entertaining is owned by Naomi Rockler-Gladen. Permission to republish How to Write a Thank You Note in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.